


Numb

by xWalkingContradictionx



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: And some cameos from the rest of the cast, Angst, M/M, tw: guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xWalkingContradictionx/pseuds/xWalkingContradictionx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata Hajime had felt hope his entire life, how could he not? He had graduated from high school and spent his days with his friends playing video games and simply passing time. His life was entirely hopeful, but one week ago, he felt despair for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Numb

_“Why was this place so chilly?”_

 

Hinata Hajime thought as he dug his hands into his jacket’s pockets. Letting his head touch the wall behind him, another sigh left his lips involuntarily. Deciding that simply standing there looking at the crowd of people walk past him was beyond boring, he took out his phone and was surprised to see a message there.  
  
  
**_Chiaki:_ ** _Hinata-kun, where are you?_

 

Green eyes flickered across the screen as they read the words that flashed on it. _Nanami…_

 

It wasn’t a surprise she was worried, he supposed he had become a bit distant from the group of teenagers he was so close to. Looking around, Hinata expected the game-loving girl’s face to pop up somewhere along the sea of blank unknown lives walking by, she did always read him like a book when it came to emotional stuff.  

 

 **_Hinata_ ** _: I’m at home_

 

 **_Chiaki:_ ** _That is a lie_

 

Even through text, she could tell something was up. A bitter chuckle left the brunette’s throat as he typed back another reply.

 

 **_Hinata:_ ** _Right, you caught me. I’m not home_

 

 _‘Might as well give up now’_ He thought, every contradiction he might make will be broken by Chiaki’s statements anyways. Earlier that morning, Mikan had spotted him so—as he thought—this did not go unnoticed.

 

The phone suddenly began vibrating in his hand, a call it seemed. Placing it next to his ear, the soft sleepy voice of his best friend poured out:  
  
“Hinata-kun, where are you?’ She spoke. Although to most, her voice might show no difference, he knew that it had a different undertone to it. She was worried, annoyed and ready to scold his ear off if he were to lie even a smidgen. This was the friendship he held with Chiaki Nanami.

 

“Hello to you too, Nanami-san” Hinata murmured, the humour he had intended to show dying quickly on his tongue.

 

It was silent on the other line before her voice once again emitted from the speaker, this time though, her tone was laced with more worry and a bit of sadness. Softly closing his eyes, he took in her words and tone with difficulty, he never did like seeing her upset. Losing a game, her Gamer Girl running out of battery, the looks she had given him were filled with disappointment but that was what it always was, disappointment. He would laugh at her expression, gaming was her life, of course she would feel that way. It was the looks that she gave him when nothing game related had occurred that he did not prefer.

 

“Hinata…...would you like to be picked up? I know where you are.” _Did he want to? Did he want her to see him likes this?_ He was not crying but he knew his eyes still held that “vacant look’” Ibuki had once described. Either one would draw the same result; her disappointed and saddened eyes looking through him.

 

“Do you? Nanami, you know me quite well. “ Another failed humour attempt. This one making his gut twist, he knew he just needed a little more time and the glass will tip over. Sitting in the apartment complex he shared with his friends and letting it spill would have felt disrespectful, and wrong. He would make them feel guilty for not being able to help.

 

“Yes, I have decided that I will go. I will be there in a couple of minutes, do not move.” Her tone held authority, it was more an order than a plea after all. His lips twitched, remembering the way she would puff out her cheeks once he did something to embarrass her or when he didn’t follow her order. The latter of which he had seen more than before this week.

  
  
“Hinata, sleep” 

 

  
“Hinata, eat”

 

“Hinata, come outside”

 

He had done the opposite of them and she had given him the puffed out cheeks, that and her eyes would fill with that disappointment he so disliked.

 

The line went dead. She was coming soon.

 

Standing straight up, he shoved the phone inside the pocket of his jacket where he had sought out heat sometime ago. Pushing himself off the wall, he walked down the now barren hall. Had he imagined several people walking down these halls to keep himself entertained? Another anticlimactic reveal, he was told often that he held quite the imaginative mind. Stories, poems, phrases, scenarios; all would pass through his head daily.

 

He would put himself and others in situations and help them through it. He had imagined quite morbid things as well, what if he had been trapped with his friends on a secluded location and forced to commit murder to escape? It had been the idea he would have labeled as the most morbid and unlikely, but even so, he remembered their reaction. Chiaki visibly reacted to the scenario, eyebrows raised in surprise and he….who was he again?

 

It was a blur. Whenever he would remember, move back in time down his own lifespan in the way of memories, all would be clear except for the pale boy he’d known for so long.

 

Pushing on the door, Hajime left the icy halls that belonged to the local hospital.

 

His smile, his eyes, his voice; it was as if someone had spilled water over a piece of paper and the inscribed words he had been so accustomed to read through had bled away. His thoughts swirled and mixed together at any attempt of bringing any clarity to his memories.

 

The sudden calling of his name snapped him out of those thoughts and his attention was soon captured by the vehicle that had slowed down to a stop in front of his spot on the pavement. The window of said vehicle lowered and revealed a sharp toothed grin from his other friend, the owner of the car he stood before of, Souda Kazuichi.

 

“Hey man, Nanami-san told me you were here, so I came to pick you up. The back door is unlocked, hop in!” He verbalized, pointing at the back of the car. Not really voicing out his thoughts, Hinata settled for a simple nod before opening the car door and took a seat besides the other person who he knew all too well.

 

“I’m glad I was correct on which location you were, Hinata-kun” She spoke, relief sparkled all round her voice. Soon, her eyes softly glared at him. He knew this was going to be brought up, he had gone against her word once more.

 

“Don’t leave without telling someone”

 

If it wasn’t for Mikan, he was sure he would have been found out much later than he was. Although his wording might have hinted to him blaming the medical student for his troubles, it was quite the opposite. He knew somewhere inside, he was grateful to her but he just feel too numb to express it properly.

 

After their discussion was over, Chiaki took out her gaming device and went straight into another pixelated battle. Souda whistled away as he drove down the darkened streets of their town; deciding neither of the two would provide a proper distraction, Hinata opted to staring at the droplets of rain that slid down the glass which separated him from harsh cold air from the outside. Before he knew it, his eyes fluttered close and he went on another journey.

 

_“What?!” He heard his own voice harshly whisper, the emotion in it surprising even himself, such an unstable amount of feelings that coursed through his body seemed foreign to him after the way he had felt for the time being. His quivering hands gripped the wall where hid behind quite strongly, turning his knuckles pale._

 

_There he stood, the blurriness, the mixture of color which brought his head pain, there he stood. A movement on the upper part of it, a smile it seemed. The hand of the individual placed itself on Hinata’s shoulder, as a reassuring tactic._

 

_“Hinata-kun, I would like you to move as fast as you can to the other side. I’ll distract them!” His voice was cheery but from the general feeling to this memory, it felt out of place._

 

_He was quite different._

 

_Hajime could feel how very against this idea he was. It was risky, was it not?_

_His thoughts were soon voiced by himself but the boy simply did not listen, he stood straight up and moved to place his index finger over his lips, an action that hurt to watch. Footsteps moved closer and closer to where they stood and his heart jumped in his chest. What was happening? What was going on? He held this memory but it was like watching another person, it just seemed so unfamiliar_

 

_“Thank you for showing me the hope and love a human can experience in their lifetime. I will show my gratitude quite boldly so please forgive me.” Soft. The blur had quickly moved in close and placed their lips on Hinata’s. A moment that he would have thought would have left him embarrassed and lively, had ripped his dreams to shreds. It had shown him the meaning of his numbness. As something so warm and alive could turn so cold and dead in the snap of two fingers, or in the case of his memory, the pull of a trigger._

  
  
“Sorry Hinata-kun! A cat got in the road, hopefully I didn’t startle you too bad” Kazuichi exclaimed from his spot behind the wheel, a sheepish smile stretching across his lips. Hajime simply nodded, the fabric of the seat situated in front of him tightly gripped between his fingers.

 

Soon after, they had arrived at the place he called home. Once he stepped off the car onto the cement slab which led into the apartment building, Chiaki turned to him.

 

“I’m sure Hanamura-san has cooked something delicious, so be sure to pick yourself up a serving.” Another order, will he heed her advice or will he disappoint her once more? Nodding, he stepped inside and walked down the hall. His footsteps echoed throughout, but the sound of chattering and laughter from the main room still reached his ears. He quickly passed by the opening of the living room and went straight into the Kitchen. As Chiaki had said, pots and pans sat on the stove, a most appetizing smell flowing out of them. Simply grabbing a plate from the cabinet above the kitchen workspace, he served himself a decent amount of the food. Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, he headed off to his room.

 

Now on his bed, his plate empty and pushed to the side on his bedside table, he tried to remember. What happened after?

 

_Bright lights. Moving faster and faster as he followed behind a tall doctor. Nurses, one of them being his friend, telling him he could not enter. Minutes ticking by as he tapped his foot on the marble tiles that decorated the floor. Tears, yells of anguish and those eyes. Her worried eyes he so hated to see, he was fine, wasn’t he?_

 

_Why the hell was she looking at him like that? Why was everyone looking at him like that?_

 

_The doctor looked at him like that._

 

_Why the fuck for?!_

 

_“Is there a Hinata Hajime here?” His voice, exhausted from work resounded through the silence of the hall where everyone stood. Deciding to ignore them all, he stepped up and walked towards the doctor._

 

_“I’m him. What’s going on? Is he alright?” Silence._

 

_“What? What is it?’ Hajime asked, a lot more fiercely. Everyone stared at him, the emotion soon registered in his mind. The numbness had made his thought process slow down significantly. He didn’t dislike the disappointed looks he received, he had been confusing it with something else. That being sympathy.  He realized this once the doctor had stared straight into his eyes and spoke a soft,_

 

_“I’m sorry” before he walked away._

 

_Sonia wailed as soon as those two words left the doctor’s mouth. Mikan trembled, apologizing over and over again. Fuyuhiko had punched a wall in anger. Hiyoko could only stare in disbelief. So many reactions, one more heartbreaking than the last._

 

_It was at this moment Hajime realized what true despair really felt like. The emotion the individual whose face was a blank slate in his mind always referred to. He had been hopeful. Of course he was; he was healthy and on a good path to a balanced adult life. There was no reason despair should have appeared on the way up. That is, until that very moment where he stood._

 

_Slowly, he stepped back. One, two, three, four steps back. Everyone stared at him, what would he do now?_

 

_Hajime ran. It started off as a walk before he turned around and full on sprinted out of the Emergency branch of the hospital. He stopped once he was far away. Raindrops slid down his neck, face and...cheeks? Bringing his hand up to his face, he felt the tears trickling from his eyes on his fingertips and he laughed. He laughed at the fact he was the one who thought the restaurant would be a nice play to dine in. He laughed at the fact he listened to the other boy’s words so easily and how he wasn’t so stubborn about it. He laughed at the fact he was crying out in the rain while his friends stood still on the hospital still riding out the wave of the pain of the hit they had just received. He laughed at the fact he had run away._

 

_But he laughed harder, much much harder at the fact the person he had given his heart to, the person who he cared about the most of all and did everything for was dead. All because he wanted to protect him. Protect him so much, he took a bullet for Hinata._

 

“A gunshot to the heart, quick and painful at the same time. He wanted me to escape safely while he distracted the attacker. That is what happened” He softly muttered. He could feel the tears that had been sitting in his chest slowly pouring out from his eyes and down his cheeks but he did nothing to stop them. He knew he needed this.

 

White fluffy hair that never seemed to stay on one side. Pale skin that would have gotten him confused with a vampire had it been a different era. Soft hands that would envelop his own in a warm mess of skin-to-skin contact. Light grey-green eyes that would light up once he was spoken to and darken when he was alone. His smile, the one which drew him in. All of these features came together to make the once once blurry picture he held in his mind clear up.

 

Nagito Komaeda, was it?

 

The one whom he had seen die in front of him, that was his name, correct?

  
Hinata Hajime had felt hope his entire life, how could he not? He had graduated from high school and spent his days with his friends playing video games and simply passing time. His life was entirely hopeful, but one week ago, he felt despair for the first time. It sunk into his heart gravely and it spurted out. Hinata fell hard, hard into despair. He fell the same way Nagito had once the bullet was ejected from the gun in the robber’s hands and passed through his heart, making him fall onto the ground. Utter, dark and unavoidable despair.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you liked it down below


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